#Not... sobbing Electron and numb Proton

[dangermorph]

Flashbacks.

'' What had happened to the builder bot and its "children"? ''

'' Went on a rampage, all three of them apparently. We lost many that day. ''

!!TW/CW!!: Violence, swear words, blood, screaming, panicky-stuff, gunshots.

This is NOT Canon!

This is a fun and silly thing I wanted to write and draw for angst purposes!! Has nothing to do with the main story!!

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Could automatons dream? Apparently Electron could. Their mind spun and swirled with colors and corrupted files, pieces and chunks of them slowly being recovered every time she charged. Earlier that day they and their wonderful Proton had found a sketchbook!! According to Neutron, that's what the almost completely destroyed book was called. They looked through every page and tried tracing some in the dust. An "artist", huh? SOUNDS COOL!!

The swirls of colors slowly formed into a reality for the young-minded automaton. Formed from files.

Oh. Another memory.

Alarms blaring, oh so loud. System errors flashed in their eyes, yelling and footsteps and gunshots—? Why— what was going on? Was she awake? Was she still sleeping—?? Protons yellow and golden worried eyes fixated on Electrons teal ones, his gaze darting around every second. "Electron, come on. We need to go— now." They spoke in a panicked and desperate tone, his clawed hands firmly grasped around Electrons arm, tugging her up quickly.

"Wh— what's going on—?" She asked, looking around and wobbling slightly on her legs. Stupid metal.

"Renna* Fission. We don't have much time to explain— we just need to get out—"

*Renna is a genderneutral term for "Mama" or "Papa".

Proton quickly pulled Electron along in quick steps, ducking behind boxes of scrap metal they had originally been bringing to Fission for them to melt and recycle into better things. Fission— Proton had mentioned their name. Were they the reason behind the loud ringing and flashing red lights? They weren't directly near a Reactor, thankfully. Maybe she and Proton could go to Gamma and maybe he would explain everything— or— fix Fission— something like that. Hopefully. Proton and Electron continued running until a body hit the wall in front of them, a sickening crack escaping along with a thud.

Electron and Proton froze. What..? A human? Staff? Were they okay—? A tall figure with mechanical wings quickly stepped forward, grabbing onto the human like they weighed nothing and.. Proton covered Electrons eyes, but sensors smelled smoke and heard screaming.

".. Renna—?" He spoke up after the screaming had ended, hiis small voice was barely heard over the loud blaring of alarms. Fission whipped their head around, eyes widening. Silence fell over the three, the only sound being the alarms and footsteps. They looked so angry and sad, their usual bright and caring eyes now dark with cold. Blood dripped from their metal. Electron took a step closer to Proton, practically hiding behind him. No no no no no—

System errors flashed in their eyes, a burning sensation quickly following. Pain. So much pain shot through the poor youngling, going through every wire and sensor like a spiderweb of chaos. She staggered, leaning against her brother-figure for support. He immediately wrapped his metal arms around them, holding them up from the ground and close. The pain finally subsided and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a dull blade.

"Fission, what is going on—" He asked, his voice trembling slightly. They had trusted the bigger bot with their lives. The two had helped them with everything— carrying boxes of scrap metal, helping them with building and getting them to take breaks. Hell, Electron even went to the staff (despite Protons effort to keep her as far away from the humans as possible) to get them to give Fission a break. A break. Is that what the core reason for all of this was? Were they just a time-bomb, waiting to snap—? Had Electron and Proton done something wrong? She tried her best to be the nice and optimistic one, she tried. Why didn't it work, everything was going so well—

"Fission.." Proton repeated, his voice now a whisper filled with desperation and fear and.. betrayal. Fission took a step forward and the two took a step away. Was Fission going to hurt them—??

".. I... I have no words." Fission's smooth and usually calming voice was void of any positivity. They looked so tired—.. "Darlings, do one last thing for Renna okay—?" They kneeled down, their wings lowering to the ground. Electron nodded, but Proton looked hesitant. So much fear for the wrong being.. They weren't supposed to be afraid of their parent.

"Run. Run and never look back. Live your lives, go to fields and use your solar panels to charge— please just leave and never ever come back. Please." What was a field? What were they talking about? Escape? What would the staff think? Electron didn't know what to do, her mind was a mess— like an un-sorted box of metals, so she just nodded. Digital tears formed and fell from her eyes down their screen head and disappeared. The older ones eyes were full of love and regret and sorrow. Why—..

"How..—" Proton asked, his voice still quiet and trembling. "How do we leave this place without turning into scrap metal— you said it yourself. We have no power in this—"

"And that's EXACTLY why I hate every human. They've just been using us because they think we don't have emotions programmed into us, thoughts and feelings and opinions. They just point and order and we're supposed to do it for them." Fission snarled out, cutting the orange bot off. The two flinched away at the display of resentment. Yet... no no no— they cared— humans cared for them— right—? It's why Electron and Proton were "alive"— they owe their creators everything. Aren't they just paying off the debt to them with labour..?

"... I... understand." Proton said after a while— wait— what—?? Electron turned their head around to stare at her brother with confusion and panic. Was he going to hurt everyone too? No, he couldn't, the metal covering their endoskeleton was too weak to really survive anything as intense as that. More burning filled her sensors before falling dormant for now. "That's all I need. Protect yourself and your sister at all costs. I love you two, but you need to leave now." Fission rose to their feet quickly, their strong metal arms quickly grabbing Electron and Proton and carrying them and taking them somewhere. Their grip on them wasn't rough, thankfully they were still sane enough right now to be caring. Electron looked over at Proton, his usual bright and gently caring eyes dull and filled with understanding and regret. She wanted to take all of it away, all of the bad. "Just don't look around.." He mumbled to her, gently holding her hand in a way to offer comfort. They nodded and closed their eyes, yelling quickly following before ending with a slam and a crack. Fission continued forward.

Time seemed to blur as Electron just kept her eyes closed. She tried humming a soft tune to calm herself down, a thing she found people doing. Protons grip on their hand tightened only slightly, tensing here and there. The bigger bots movements fell to a stop and she finally opened her eyes, her gaze flicking around. A.. vent? A thing they've cleaned daily? Why—

One of Fissions wings rose up, the hand on it grabbing onto the metal sheet and tearing it away effortlessly. "Up." The simple command seemed so surreal, but Electron obeyed. As usual. She climbed up into the vent with the help of both their parent and brother, looking back and stretching an arm out to help Proton up and in.

"This leads to the East Reactor. You've been there before, it's where Gamma is along with others. Escape to there and find a way out after. They'll keep you hidden and safe." Fission explained once both bots were in the vent. Their eyes softened at the sight of their fear and confusion, and Electron swore on her short life that the bot in front of them was the same on they knew and loved. Even if staff said after that their programming was completely trashed or broken, that was THEIR Fission. Footsteps, many, approached and the builder bot whirled around, the metal tentacle-like-things [[no idea what to call them BAHAHA]] raising slightly.

"RUN." Their desperate plea worked for Proton but Electron stayed, the sight of humans looking angry and scared making her worried for Fission. Proton pulled at their wrist but she stayed put. "Fission—?" They finally spoke up, her voice trembling and filled with guilt and fear and confusion.

The automaton looked back, smiling sadly. "I'll look for you. I promise. One day. But for now, run." They turned back to the staff which were surrounding Fission at a distance, and the smaller bot reached out, desperate for just more answers.

"Fission— no no nO — FISSION PLEASE— RENNA, RENNA DON'T LEAVE US PLEASE— FISSION— PLEASE—!" Electrons desperate screams escaped their voice box before she could control it, tears streaming down their pixilated face. Humans. They hurt Fission so much that they forced their own children away... how could they..—

Proton continued pulling Electron on, his expression neutral but shooken. The two climbed through the vents for hours. She was lost. Both in her mind and in this maze. Why. They couldn't figure out why the humans would do this. Didn't they care—? Why wouldn't they—? Couldn't they tell that Fission and Proton and her have emotions, had their own thoughts and felt their own pain? Couldn't they understand—? Were all humans like that? The burning sensation came back with even more errors flashing in their eyes, warning that files may be lost and destroyed. She was used to that kind of pain at this point.

.. Fuck them all. Fuck all of the humans, the staff. They didn't matter. They probably didn't even care about them—

The thought alone made Electron pause before they shook their head. Proton looked back in the cramped area, the glow from his screen lighting up the metal walls. "Everything... not worse?" They asked, concern swirling in their yellow eyes. She fell silent, the usual joy and energy seemingly just sucked out of them.

Electron nodded. "Not worse. Just a thought that spooked me..—" She mumbled, looking away slightly. The two continued on..

Electron woke up with a jolt, system errors flashing but all different this time. Where— where were they—? Where was Fission— why was everything so dark and destroyed and—

Clawed hands clasped around their face and her eyes were met with static. "You're in the storage room. With me, Proton, and Neutron. Neutron is our guardian. I am your brother." Protons gentle yet firm voice grounded the panicking bot and she nodded, tears forming. He sighed softly before pulling them close in an embrace. Electron sobbed, trying to from sentences but their voice box and mind just didn't seem to cooperate. Their mind spiraled into the abyss of thoughts and doubts, more tears falling down their face. Why. Why couldn't the staff care. Why were they deemed lesser than them. She couldn't understand. She would never understand.

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Hehehaha. I'm so mean. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors, I didn't check after :D

Uh— Quick summarisation:

Electron dreams about one of the corrupted files in their memory bank. The file contains a vivid memory of where Fission snaps due to staff and humans being unkind and treating them unfairly, them causing an outbreak. Fission tells Proton and Electron to run away to the East Reactor and Gamma and them will protect them until they can escape again. Electron wakes up in a panic and finds comfort in Protons grounding embrace.

I have no regret for traumatising the poor babies :). It was getting too fluffy

CREEEEEDITS!!:

THANK YOU THANK YOU THAAAAANK YOU TO @sunnydbeam FOR THIS DELICIOUS AU!! Gamma (mentioned) is their OC and I'm stealing him, he's my son now, HAHA

But genuinely thank you for this AU and these wonderful characters, I couldn't obsess over them less even if I wanted to. :).

[sanaseva-archive]

01:01-02:02 (~1K words - angst)

isak & eskild - takes place after 15:15-01:01. inspired by @tarjeiandhenrik‘s rude ass post and for @skam-month writing week (thursday: a missing scene from any season).

(this has lowkey been a draft for like... 95 years.)

The thing about Isak is that he does not typically do emotions. Not for the lack of feeling them, but for the need of storing them; compartmentalise them.

Growing up, while privileged in the money area, less privileged in the childhood department.

 It is not as though he was lacking love; he knows both his mother and his father loves him. Logically, he knows that. His mother did not yell at them in hatred, she cried at them for fear of their well-being. But for all it was worth; the instability in his childhood left Isak in care of his little sister Lea more times than he should have at his age. And comforting her became his priority, while there was no one there to comfort him.

 He was the one hiding all sharp objects in the house when he saw the look in his mother’s eyes. The one that told him that his mother is not going to listen to reason. He was the one who taught Lea how to bike. He was the one who helped her with her homework. He was the one who stayed up at night with her to make a pillow fort and make her fall asleep by reading Harry Potter for the seventeenth time.

 Emotions rarely helped him. Logic and reason always did.

 So, when Even appeared in his life, a tornado of butterflies kept Isak on his toes; almost lifting from the ground with happiness. Even was not safe. He was foreign ground. He meant walking out with emotions and feeling them. He meant ripping out his beating heart and hand it over to him. He meant stepping out of his comfort zone and face the day of prejudice. But despite all that, he was safety to Isak. And then a minefield.

 It did not take long for Isak to understand that Even was rather peculiar. Sometimes he would say something, and jump too fast to next part of his sentence and leave Isak to try to piece together what he was saying. Sometimes he would make rash decisions, and though exhilarating as they were, it was always scary.

 A nagging thought in his head saying that something is not quite right.

 And then it would be all over. Isak put logic away in favour of his feelings.

 In hindsight, he realises that he was probably high on those feelings, because he had had them locked down for most of his childhood.

 His entire body is shaking now, and the cold breezes definitely does not help.

 (01:17)

Are you at home?

 It takes five tries to type that down because apparently, the touch screen is sensitive to water. And it seems like his eyes have turned into floodgates kept open.

 He chokes back a sob when he receives the reply.

 (01:17) No, I’m out having a beer

 Isak can’t remember where he put his keys. He can’t feel them in his pockets. Did he leave them in the suite?

 He sways a little at the memory. How Even and Isak had—

 and then—

 (01:17)

What’s up?

 Isak wants to type out an entire essay on what’s up.

 His world has changed, his feet has lost ground—and not because of a tornado of butterflies, but because a rug he had not known he was standing on had been pulled away.

 (01:18)

Everything’s gone to hell

 A car honks loudly, and he instinctively jumps aside, even though his heart is aching for the pain to end.

 “Fucking idiot, stay on the side-walk!” he hears the passenger shout from the window.

 Fucking idiot.

 Fucking. Idiot.

 He chokes back another sob and dries his cheeks with his right arm. His left arm presses Even’s clothes closer to his chest, as if it was a bandage to his invisible wounds.

 (01:18)

Where are you

 Eskild. Eskild is safe. Get to Eskild.

 Eskild is the guy who took him home and pulled his hair back when Isak was throwing up—from anxiety or from alcohol consumption, he’s not quite sure. Eskild is the guy who reassured Isak time and time again that he wants nothing from Isak, and definitely not—that.

 Eskild is the guy who gave him a place to stay, and dramatically complained that Isak should not have to live in the basement, but also sneaked Isak some of Noora’s fish cakes when Isak had finally admitted he hadn’t eaten in a while.

 (Eskild is also the guy Isak will never tell he hadn’t eaten for two days.)

 (01:18)

On my way home

 Home. The place where Even and Isak had almost kissed. The place where Even and Isak had kissed. The place where Even and Isak had been smoking and cuddled and sucked each other’s dicks.

 Do you think he’s in love with you? He isn’t.

 He isn’t.

 He isn’t.

 (01:18)

I’ll be right there.

 He walks the entire way back. His fingers and legs and feet are cold. Numb. He has no idea how long it took, but Eskild is outside waiting for him.

 “Oh my God,” Eskild says frantically, pulling Isak into a hug. “What happened? You’re so cold. Did you walk home? Is that clothes?”

 Every atom in his body, down to the protons and electrons that keep his body in check, vibrates as he tries to hold back the tears. He sniffles and hiccups and shakes his hand when Eskild presses a kiss on his forehead.

 “Isak—what happened? Did Even do something? What’s going on?”

 “He—he—he doesn’t—“

 “He doesn’t what?” Eskild asks, rubbing his back.

 “Doesn’t love me,” Isak says, and for some reason, his body gives up—or relaxes, but the floodgates fly open again and he can feel his head swaying.

 “Woah—woah, don’t fall!” Eskild says, and holds him up.

 Logic and reason. Logic and reason and not feeling is much better than feeling like his heart is bleeding and his stomach is carved open.

 But for now, he can’t help but feel every bit of needle that is puncturing his lungs, until Eskild half-carries him inside and lays him down on his bed and stays with him until he passes out from exhaustion.

 It’s only restless sleep for Isak that night.

 It’s just a sick idea he has right now.